Authored by Aastha Dhingra, Clinical Psychologist
Gurugram [Haryana]: A Wedding, a Secret, and 2,000 Calls That Ended in Death. What Went So Horribly Wrong?
The mehendi was just days away. The guest list was set. The venue was booked. On social media, they were the picture-perfect couple, smiling for the cameras, about to begin their new life together.
But behind the scenes, something far more sinister was allegedly being planned. A murder. Not by a stranger, but by the person Ketan Agarwal trusted most in the world—his fiancée.
This is not a crime thriller. This is a chilling case that forces us to ask a deeply uncomfortable question: What drives ordinary people to choose murder over the simple act of saying "no"?
The Tip of the Iceberg: What Police Are Allegeing
For weeks, the police say, Siya Goel and her secret boyfriend, Chetan, were plotting. Their phone records allegedly show over 2,000 calls exchanged over months. They are accused of rehearsing the crime, visiting the fort where Ketan would later fall to his death. Reports even suggest a previous failed attempt.
The planning was clinical. The execution, brutal. But the psychology behind it is what should truly disturb us.
The Girl Who Couldn't Speak Up
The first question everyone asks is simple: Why didn't Siya just call off the wedding?
It seems like an obvious solution. But for many young Indians, especially those from families where obedience equals love and dissent is shame, the word "no" is not just difficult—it's psychologically impossible.
In such environments, children grow up learning a dangerous lesson: "I cannot say no, so I must find another way." Family pressure doesn't just create discomfort; it can cripple a person's ability to make autonomous decisions. When the fear of disappointing parents becomes unbearable, avoidance takes over. And as this case tragically shows, when avoidance is taken to its extreme, it can transform into lethal aggression.
The Fiancé Who Trusted Too Much
And then there's Ketan. In love and planning his future, he was blind to the danger. This is where Betrayal Trauma comes in. When the person you trust most—your partner—becomes the threat, your brain often fails to recognize the danger.
Ketan likely lowered his guard because a fiancé is supposed to be a safe person. Even after a prior suspicious "accident," he accepted her explanation. The mind often protects the attachment bond before it protects reality. We see this in therapy all the time: "Maybe I misunderstood." "She loves me." "He would never hurt me." Ketan's trust, tragically, became the weapon used against him.
How to Plan a Murder: A Masterclass in Desensitization
Perhaps the most disturbing element is the alleged planning and rehearsal of the crime.
Why would anyone rehearse a murder?
The first time you imagine doing something terrible, your conscience screams. Your heart races. It feels impossible. But the second time? Less intense. The tenth time? Almost normal. This is habituation—the brain's reduced emotional reactivity to repeated stimuli.
Each rehearsal reduced guilt, fear, and empathy. It made the final act more clinical, less human. The accused were able to compartmentalize two completely incompatible realities: planning a wedding and planning a murder, often on the same phone, in the same conversation. This is emotional splitting.
The "Us vs. World" Trap
When two people are in a secret relationship, they often create a dangerous bubble. They develop a narrative:
"Nobody understands us."
"Everyone is against us."
"Our love is a forbidden treasure."
In this co-created reality, the outside world becomes the enemy. Families are obstacles. Fiancés are burdens. And violence? It can get romanticized as a "sacrifice for love." This isn't love. This is emotional immaturity and psychological fusion, where murder becomes a twisted form of "problem-solving."
The Uncomfortable Question for Families
This case is a mirror to a deeper societal issue. Are we, as parents and as a society, creating conditions where murder feels more possible than having a difficult conversation?
When children are raised with conditional love ("We'll be proud only if..."), emotional suppression ("Don't argue or express anger"), and conflict avoidance ("We don't talk about problems"), we raise adults who can't navigate the normal pains of life: heartbreak, rejection, and disappointment. When pain becomes unacceptable, the brain starts looking for any escape route, even one as horrific as destruction.
The Final Verdict: It's Not About Love
Let's be clear: This case is not fundamentally about love. It is a tragic story of:
Emotional immaturity: An inability to handle adult situations like an adult.
Avoidance Coping: Running from problems instead of confronting them.
Poor Conflict Tolerance: Choosing destruction over a difficult conversation.
Moral Disengagement: Convincing oneself that murder is a justifiable "solution."
Healthy adults can survive a broken engagement. They can survive family disapproval. They can survive heartbreak. The psychological danger begins when someone believes: "Pain is unacceptable, therefore reality must be destroyed."
A Wake-Up Call for All of Us
A young man is dead. His fiancée and her secret boyfriend are in custody. Two families are shattered. All because three young people couldn't do what healthy people must do: talk, feel, and navigate difficult emotions.
The inability to tolerate discomfort is the breeding ground for destruction.
This tragedy should be a wake-up call—for families to create space for honesty, for young people to find the courage to speak their truth, and for all of us to recognize that a difficult conversation is always, always better than a terrible crime.
Based on psychological principles and reported case details. All accused are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.
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