Authored by Aastha Dhingra, Clinical Psychologist
New Delhi: The ongoing investigation into the death of model-actor Twisha Sharma has once again pushed the country into a familiar cycle — shock, speculation, outrage, emotional social media tributes, and endless discussions around mental health after a tragedy has already happened.
Now that the CBI has taken over the case and registered a fresh FIR against family members, the legal process will take its own course.
Facts will emerge through investigation, evidence, statements and due process. It is important not to sensationalise, assume guilt, or build narratives before the investigation concludes.
But beyond the headlines lies a far more uncomfortable truth that society repeatedly refuses to confront honestly.
Why do we only start discussing mental health after someone dies?
As a clinical psychologist, what disturbs me most is not just the tragedy itself — it is the performative concern that suddenly appears afterwards. Overnight, everyone begins talking about depression, trauma, emotional abuse, toxic environments, anxiety, suicide awareness and mental illness. Yet in real life, when people show symptoms openly, they are dismissed as “dramatic”, “attention-seeking”, “over-sensitive”, “weak”, or “unstable”.
We continue to live in a society where people are encouraged to hide emotional suffering until it becomes unbearable.
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Mental illness is not rare anymore
It exists in schools, marriages, offices, hostels, hospitals and homes.
It affects men, women, teenagers, achievers, caregivers and even people who appear successful from the outside.
And yet, many families still behave as if seeking therapy is a matter of shame.
People comfortably discuss diabetes, blood pressure and thyroid disorders. But the moment somebody mentions panic attacks, self-harm, emotional dysregulation, trauma, depression or suicidal thoughts, the entire conversation becomes secretive, judgmental and uncomfortable.
Why?
A psychological disorder is not an “achhoot” disease.
It is a health condition.
And like every other health condition, early intervention matters.
One of the biggest myths about suicide is that it happens “suddenly”. In reality, most individuals show signs long before a crisis point is reached. The signs may not always look dramatic. Sometimes they appear as emotional exhaustion, isolation, numbness, irritability, hopelessness, sleep disturbances, social withdrawal, reckless behaviour, loss of interest in life, repeated crying spells, unexplained anger, or feeling like a burden.
But society has trained itself to ignore these signs unless they become impossible to overlook.
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We wait for the “final attempt” before taking suffering seriously.
That is the failure.
Equally concerning is another harsh reality nobody wants to discuss:
Sometimes people around the individual already know that the person is struggling.
They know the person is emotionally deteriorating.
They know the environment is unhealthy.
They know the individual is not coping well.
They know there are signs of distress.
Yet nothing meaningful is done.
Silence, denial, family image, social reputation, ego, stigma and fear of “what people will say” often become more important than intervention.
And that silence can become dangerous.
As mental health professionals, we are not asking society to become therapists. We are asking society to become more emotionally responsible.
Listen seriously.
Encourage help.
Normalise therapy.
Stop mocking vulnerability.
Stop glorifying silent suffering.
Stop treating emotional pain as character weakness.
Most importantly, stop waiting for death to suddenly make someone’s pain believable.
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Real mental health awareness is not posting emotional captions after a tragedy.
Real awareness is noticing suffering while the person is still alive.
Because support given after death may generate sympathy —
but support given during suffering can save a life.
(Aastha Dhingra is Principal Consultant & Co-Founder of AD Executive Training & Coaching Pvt. Ltd. She is also Clinical Psychologist at Polaris Hospital, Jeewan Multispeciality Centre, and Manochikitsa. In addition, Dhingra is Editor at the International Journal of Indian Psychology.)
Ends.
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